Im thankful...

You're filling out everything I was deprived of. Spending holidays together (like thanksgiving), being in comfort 'til the wee hours of the morning, and the convenience of living in the same city. Back and forth we exchanged what we're thankful for and your last one caught me off guard. Even though some of my family's in Vegas, others filled in as a good enough proxies. Seeing the genuine happiness of those being served the hot meals made my Thanksgiving. Through my perspective, I think Ive experience what Thanksgiving's all about; I served the less fortunate, bonded with family, spent Thanksgiving with the ones who rock my world. Thanksgiving 2010, you're the best Thanksgiving so far.

Our gear has been on auto pilot for quite a while. The constant subtle motions leave a sensational trail. When you're the first one to lace, I can't help but smile. I vacillate whether my thoughts are on the same path we're on or if I am way off course. Only time will tell. "Good things happen to those who wait."

Sorry Nelly, it wasnt only just a dream.

I tend to hold on to the past because it can be classified better than the present. But it's different when I'm in your presence; I focus on what's within the moments and even the mere-future. My reassurance has been reciprocated with a legible meaning behind it. Fall's here and so is the snuggling season, which actually plays a role. As the setting screams Christmas, with only the Christmas tree as our source of light, everything felt relative and in it's rightful place. I'm feeling grown up and superior; I no longer need to leave details out when informing my mom about hanging out with a guy and having you stay until the hours of the morning just hits the spot. I'm starting to notice the meaning behind your eyes; our eyes are synonyms. Gradually, thing's are falling into place; just the way I like it. It's a different path from previous ones, but you deserve "different" because you're not like the rest. Mind you, you're THE only exception according to my guidelines and that should partially express how much I feel. Everyone has flaws, but you know when you're falling because their flaws become gold. MATURITY is key and boy, you got that in a bag. Manners and respect; you can keep me applauding. I no longer want to dismiss my guy's stupid comments and have to excuse his words and manners on my behalf. I've bonded with your family and you're the one guy that I can feel confident about meeting mine. I know this is a dream I've been yearning to strike reality, but you can't blame me. Life's all about chasing your dreams and here I am at a steady pace chasing it with ease.

Reading puts me in my own world; some me-time does the trick. Page after page, I'm reliving the memories and referring to how you make me feel...

I died today and went to heaven

< & >

I cant deny that I still do care. I guess I can't help knowing you chose that. Despite that, my feelings have finally hit the closest they've ever been to ground level.

On the other hand, everytime I see you, I STILL get that natural high. Crazy isnt it? There aren't much people who have that power over me. I can't help but stare when you're not looking, search when you've come out of sight, and wonder when you're no where to be found. Your smile makes me light up and you give me nothing but good vibes. You never bring negativity in my life. (: No girl deserves extra stress, but you give me exactly the opposite. Thanks for making sure you fulfilled hanging out with me last night tho :) More and more people are advising me to tell you my secret. Let's just face it, I probably wont.

Hello, Goodbye

-I never knew something of this sort would arise, but it has. I'm fine with the situation considering it had it's fair share of interrogation and explanation. Actually, Im more than fine; things have gotten better :) We might still be where we've always been, but who said that wasnt enough? Thanks for showing me how much you care. Let's continue this streak because if it dies, I'd be missing this.

-Little by little it's hitting me. I'll let you be. My reasoning for squeezing myself inn was that I thought you guys didnt meet the definition of your labeling. Finally, Im seeing it. I don't wanna ruin things, I really dont. You've showed me what you guys are capable of and Im backing off. Ill let things go with the flow and I wont go above and beyond what I should be doing. Goodbye to trying and seeing what could've been, but hello to finally getting over you.

Sometimes all you need is some TLC.

Some kind of different

We know too much about each other, yet too little. You keep a good portion of your personal life on the DL. First flaw came as a shock, but the second won first place. As words floated in my ears, the glistening agent in my eyes weren't shy to appear. I don't think anyone gets it; it happened so smoothly and slowly that no one can pick up all the memories and feelings together. I have the urge to leave these feelings behind and pretend they never existed; oh how I wish. Easier said than done. I know these are temporary feelings because Im acting like a brat because I didn't get my way today. You can put the biggest smile on my face, yet the saddest frown. You remembered my stories of other guys; good to know you actually listen. We may be on the same page of how we function these opposite-sex-relationships of ours, yet sometimes I get butthurt, but Im a hypocrite to complain. So I should shut the f*ck up and take whatever gets thrown at me. Who knows, you may feel likewise. Everything happens for a reason, but Im unsure of what the reason is for falling for you...

Color my world

Im calling it peace between you and my heart; let's compromise... You can have my heart, as long as I have yours ♥

Friendsloversornothing.mp3

There can only be one...

Your lost, hells not mine :D

The crumbs of my feelings may still be there laying on the floor, but since you won't seem to be picking 'em up anytime soon, it's time for this maid to clean 'em up. You've lost your spot and Im not giving it back. You're NOT who Id want to be with. I may have been thinking that all along, but I was too lost in how you treated me that I completely lost track of what matter's most in a relationship. Ill admit, I may still have an interest in you, but this girl has finally realized what's already been there the whole time. Nothing will change between us besides my mental&emotional state for you. I can do better, as for you... I guess who you chose reflects who you are :D Hah.

"Sometimes I wanna give up. I wanna give in, wanna quit the fight, but one look at you can make everything alright.."

How beautiful you&i would be

The cards and the teller said it all. Maybe it isnt time for this now. Maybe later, who knows? Waiting for me to grow up a bit more? If you wait for me to turn a year older, you're risking the illusion-age between us. Never would I have guessed that Id be falling this hard. Hope you'll catch me along the way, to break my fall. Yea Ill confirm, this is the wrong time for the right thing. My hearts still not perfectly set. God knows what's best and that's to keep my heart on ONE. To "stick with my entrees and get over my sides." Time will tell. A little growing up. More closeness. More distance. Some obstacles. Im ready to wait what the future holds. Ill test my heart's capacity. No one can make me feel the same way you make me feel. I fondled with your mind; you think I want that, when I want this.

Short Story Ended

I might have the courage one day and tell you how... how I hold myself back from smiling because you make me smile brighter than the sun or how when I look at you all I can do is get lost. How we can be doing nothing and seem like you're boring me to death, but really Im having the time of my life. How I talk about other guys to cover up my feelings for you. How your smell lingers around me even if you're not around. How you can keep the conversation going because Im at lost for words. How you're my 'decision' maker that makes you a part of me. How.. wth am I doing blogging about this ?! I need to stop blogging.. I might as well put "__________, I have something for you" in bold letters. Im not going to finish this.

The End.

Two Worlds Collide

-The more time I spend with you; the more I find make us a good match. Your choices & actions towards my behalf made me smile both externally and internally. I expected the attendance and just gave me another 'minus the strings' day. Side by side we stayed and that could not make me anymore content. We both seen each other in athletic-mode :) That glance, that nudge might not mean anything to you, but to me, it means the world...

-You may not even realize how much effort you put in because you make it seem effortless. But this girl trips over your little deeds and gets lost in those thoughts. You keep leaving questions unanswered bottled up in her confused mind. She doesn't bother asking due to the potential awkwardness it'd cause; whether it's temporary or permanent. Hey, all thanks to me you have a fan club; Team _________. Everyone's on your team, what a shame no ones on the other because of a minor mishap. Everyone's waiting for their prediction to finally strike reality. Their not the only ones...

A story with no ending

Realization can be a monster, yet a lifesaver depending on the situation. I have a great time when I'm with you. Everything's about 'us' and seems like the whole world's revolving around us. Hours pass and bedtime never crosses our minds. You might be the missing puzzle piece in this life of mine, but let's get real... nothing's going to come out of this friendship. People can keep talking about us making their own accusations, but you and I are the only ones who truely know the story. Same question after question, I'll still be answering the same; No we're not. Who would've known the day I met you was a start of this unpredictable story...

Despite who comes along my way, who Im kickin' it with, who's making me smile.. at the end of the day you're always there to comfort me & be on my mind.

Less isnt More

Look at that girl, doesn't she look happy? Well, she is, but beneath that smile there's always something that isn't going her way; whether it's small or big. She keeps her head held high, hopes optimistic, and smile shining bright. Yes, she's an only child, but is mistaken for that 'spoiled brat' stereotype. She doesn't get everything she wants, trust me.

Whenever you're around she can't help but smile and look at you. She can't control how she feels even if she wanted to. Hand to hand contact should be avoided from here on because she'll want to get used to it. Memory after memory, hangout after hangout; her feelings don't budge. She's still in the same situation she was months ago. Don't you get it? Are you really that content with what you have now? Or are you settling for less like everyone has been claiming for a while now? When I actually think about it, I'm not sure if I even want to be labeled as yours, but just the thought of you having no strings attached with another makes sleep better at night. Hello, do I need to have an airplane spell it out for you in the sky?!?! She wants you, but you're all tied up at the moment.

Roller Coaster Ride

I was certain that my feelings for you were long gone. But I guess those feelings came back from vacation. When you walked in I rolled my eyes, I tried acting like a tough girl. That didn't work 'cause you cracked the code and got me smiling & laughing at the wrong times. By then you were back on my good side and everything after that was up hill.

I'm back to where I was + more.

Balancing Scale

Lost interest in you real quick.

On the other hand, things with you are going better than ever. Who would have known that at times like this we'd still be good. In the back of my mind I know wsup, but externally we're both not showing any signs of it. When I'm around, you're not 'connecting' on any means with her and to me that means alot. People have set a date and I'm waiting to see if people's predictions are correct. I sure hope so, but something's telling me things will stay the way they are. I find myself caught up in a moment and thinking 'this is totally a couple moment.' The little things get me going and keep me smiling. For now things are going smoothly, but they'd be so much better if...

I'll leave the rest for you to fill in .

Hello Type.

If people were to guess what my 'type' was Im pretty sure they might hit the spot, but there's one 'type' that Im digging, but Im certain no one would guess it. I've always claimed that I don't have a type, but technically everyone has a 'type'.....

& By chance, you're an example of mine. :) I've just always had my opinion of you. Somewhere from the day I met you to now, my opinion has changed drastically. She said not to go there; I don't think I'm there, but the journey that might take me there started some time ago. The more I learn and dig deeper makes me sum everything up in a big picture. Trust me, the big picture is quite a lovely portrait...now how about we photoshop me in?

Un coeur plein d'espoir

I havent blogged in 3 months?!

I know you didn't pick me. See you just didn't give me a shot. After being with me, you'll see her and be like 'who the f*ck is she?'

There are so many confused minds, puzzled faces, but most of all, one hopeful heart.
It's simple, I'm 'feeling' you. But it's complicated; you want her.

If it was me, my hands would be laced tighter than she holds yours
If it was me, I'd comfort you and be there for you more than her
If it was me, I wouldn't be looking at you thinking 'what if'
If it was me, your contact on my phone would change to 'baby'
If it was me, you'd be greater appreciated
If it was me, I wouldn't look at her thinking 'that could have been me'
If it was me you chose, I wouldn't be here writing this with glistening eyes.

No matter what's been up, I'm been back to acting normal around you. I am grateful that I'm not letting it effect our relationship because I've learned the hardway and I'm not going to let it happen again. Tight hugs were all the rage, soon enough they lost their popularity, but hey they're back in style. I see you learned how to make hearts again :) We're back to how it used to be, but this time there's a variable added to this equation.

'You walk like a diva'

April 27th, 2010. Today's my nephew Lucas's Bday, which was already celebrated at the Beach House. First and only day for me of going to school late for star texting, sorry sophomores. Waking up at 9am was a shock to me since the latest I would wake up during break was 8am. School started at 10:45am and was up hill from there. Highlight of my day was afterschool, hands down. Went to Nicole's house to chow down on the best pancit I think I've ever had, not to mention that I dont prefer pancit. Established a hangout day with Nicole. Met up with >10 people and reserved rooms for us to chill in. Got locked out of the room/ jacket switching / cards / shhhhhing people. Slept on the floor and woke up to a french fry in my mouth, thanks for feeding it to me though. Hit up the roof right after & poor Nicole is all I gotta say. Dropped off Joseph and got home at about 9pm. Great day :)

Since I like including pictures on my blogs all the time, here's one, which is my only picture from today -_- You could probably guess who wrote that on my forearm.

Top Listed Baby

For years I have always had Sweet Hearts Cafe on the top for the best Avocado drinks! Since it was hot, we ended up getting drinks for the family after arriving back to Milpitas.

7 avocados, 2 almond milk tea[dont get it from Sweethearts] & jasmine milk tea [dont get this one too!] You already know which my drink is if you know me :)


Best Taro & Milk Teas = Fantasia [hands down]

Blessed with thee best family

Everything that went down this break especially the whole-family-talk today [Sunday] made me the happiest camper in the world :)

Increasing numbers

& at night, these are the heads that kept me company.

Silk Boxers.

PJ DAY!

Change of Outfit

Supposed to have worn this dress instead of the other one I wore, oh well :D

Raging Waters

On the way home, Mitchel & I had a friendship argument like we always do. Once again Mitchel denies the things he does & I start rambling on. The whole way home, I call out “hurtful things” that I claim does not phase Mitchel. He kept insisting that it did hurt him. Eventually we broke the ice when we were outside Ryan’s house. All of a sudden Mitchel sprays me with water from the garden hose. & You know Im not gonna let that slip, so our “water war” started. Got Ryans garage wet & they even filled up a bucket. Mitchel failed at it, but Ryan got me good. People were passing by hella looking at us! The whole “thing” between Mitchel & I ceased to exist with a LOOOONG hug. Love Mitchel & Ryan :D


FYI: Mitchel's shirt was light grey, not dark grey! HAHA







Yea, we were SOAKING wet afterwards. Hella dripping!

Nothing is perfect, but life sure feels like it. No complaints!

Dedicated to Ronan :D

It's black forest! HAHA. Oh btw: Ronan gave me this cake for my bday :)

First for everything

Sure, Ive felt distance between my girls, but missing someone makes the heart grow fonder. When reuniting with these girls, I feel like there was never that gap. 2010 is a new year and therefore, I want to get back to how close we were back in the days. I love them with all my heart and they will always be MY girls <3

Slight Progression

March is when all the parties start sprouting every weekend. Party after party :) Ive been pretty busy and Im thankful for that. I havent had any boring days, Im always out and about! My bday is in 3days and I am super excited.

When people ask, what's new, I would always say "same old same old." But when you're actually conversing with me, there is so much I can offer you. My days have changed slightly, but makes a BIG impact in my day. You're beginning and ending of my school day. The little things you say that make me smile, makes my day.. everyday. My state of mind that I had before simply changed. Im a big difference from what you used to have and most people admit it. Im not sure if Im the kind of girl that you're looking for, but some characteristics you posses are a big plus. Slow and steady wins the race.

Keepin me busy

My day starts with a full screen of AIM windows, but at the end of the night, I only end up with one ;D

My Saturday Night :D

Webcamming with these heads and great conversations on aim, as usual. Splendid<3

The 3 Matutinas

We used to be close like two hands laced together. Things changed and we all grew up and apart as well. As our relationships grew fonder with one, they separated from each other. Truthfully, Ive gotten closer to Camille, but with Stacey it was a different story. Coming to the conclusion that "a factor" of your life was separating us. Now that the "factor" is out of the picture, we're right there reuniting. Remember our chorography that we'd always present at family gatherings, well even though we've grown out of that, we still havent grown out of how much fun we have with each other. Reuniting can be the best feeling if put in the right situation and with the best people <3

"Dazzling Present"

Is what Im naming my design/picture :) Imma start putting up pictures of my nails and naming them! It'll motivate me to actually do them I hope!



My nails have been naked for the past month. Just wait until it's spring, I have an idea of a nail design that's perfect to express my floral pattern obsession!

S to the R

Lately I think Ive been thinking about you more often than usual. I cant get cha outta my head.

From sunny days to rainy days, Ive been blessed with the best. A roller coaster week and noticing little changes in myself :D Thanks for being my inspiration everyday; you got me out of my laziness.

Busy Afterschools

Monday: Mall.
Tuesday: Ihop (MCM) & Twin's house.
Wednesday: Aunties house for family dinner for my Mama's bday.
Thursday: Walmart, SaveMart, SafeWay, Marina.
Friday: Mall, Walmart, Camille's house.

[Ive been out all 5 weekdays!]

Saturday: ValleyFair? / movies? / h/w?
Sunday: 10:45 for grandma's mass / prayer / FAMILY PARTY!

Notice anything different?

Ewwww I look ugly when I try frowning.

HAH! If I didnt know, Id probably wouldnt have known either.

Tonight was fun. Adoration / rosary / & stations of the cross. :D

Just as last year...

Im feeling exceptionally happy before my birthday :D Every birthday is a blessing and I am grateful. Another birthday to debate over which restaurant I should order which dishes from. Restaurant hoping and taste testing (: So much has happened in a year and whether it's good or bad, Im taking them in as well as I can. Thank you 16th year, you've been great to me. Get ready to put on your party hats on the 20th of March :D

23 days and counting!

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Our skit today was hilarious. Runner #1 FTW :) Glad everyone enjoyed it! Once again I was assigned to Courage, but I transferred to Wonder & Awe for the heck of it. :D

Ash Wednesday

Quick picture taken after church!


I was late in being early to 7pm mass so I couldnt sit with the confirmation loves. But honestly Im happy it turned out the way it did. Stood next to better people since there was no more seats;D Talk about a full house.
Accomplished the task of not eating meat on Ash Wednesday :)

Mother-daughter Quality Time

Ran some errands sprinkled throughout our agenda. The highlight of our day would be ValleyFair, hands down. We both ended up shopping at Forever21 and having lunch at the food court. We both enjoyed sniffing all the bombs and melts from lush. I got carried away :)


Finally, we had Blush again. My mom doesnt like the blush and original flavors because they are tangy. So my mom had chocolate last time = FAIL. Cookie n cream was her order this time and it was a success that even I thought about getting it as well. But if you know me fruity>chocolaty. Two more added to my collection!

New Door

Liking you was simply a chill feeling. People claimed that liking you wasnt something I was putting too much into heart. I finally got into the state of mind that I was over you. You seemed to manage your way back up the ladder. You're amazing me and leaving me speechless by your charm. You're such a great guy. The bad thing is, I dont see any major flaws in you that would make me turn the other cheek. Damn, why do you have to everything I want in a guy?

Hello to a new figure in my heart. Let's just hope you dont break it.

Valentines Day

rcdpi*** (1:02:50 AM): ahha oh dang. bringin back the old days
rcdpi*** (1:03:44 AM): We didnt even talk back then
xtoots*** (1:04:08 AM): i know right
rcdpi*** (1:04:17 AM): and now, BAM!
rcdpi*** (1:04:25 AM): ;D
xtoots*** (1:05:46 AM): haha BAM!
xtoots*** (1:05:47 AM): LOL
rcdpi*** (1:06:35 AM): haha, thanks to confirmation
xtoots*** (1:06:46 AM): haha forreal.
rcdpi*** (1:08:10 AM): well things do happen for a reason

Oh sorry for socking you in the face, but we're even.

:D Flawless day<3

Bday Wishlist.

*Makeup!

*Mac
-paint pot in so ft ocher / rubenesque
-Eye shadow in All that glittters / brule / woodwinked
-Prep + Prime Face Protect SPF 50
-Fix +
-Any babypink or light peach blush (cubic / well dressed)

*Sephora
[No eye shadow palettes]
-Nars bronzer in laguna

*Anywhere
-Room decor :D [Photography pictures in frames / canvas paintings / anything for my room!]
-A good 1 in. straightener

*In order of desire:
-Paint pot in so ft ocher / rubenesque
-eye shadow in all that glitters / brule / wookwinked
-Prep + Prime Face Protect SPF 50
-Bonzer in laguna (NARS)
-Any babypink or light peach blush (cubic / well dressed)
-1in. straightener
-Any room decor!

Good Morning Saturday.

Woke up @ 8 and this is me after I ate breakfast :D

Welcome Mr. Greeny,

To the collection, finally another box added to store my nail polishes.

As of right now: 33 nail polishes.

Book Shelf

February is a pretty busy month if you ask me. This week has been full of anticipating for Twin's Birthday. Once again, my two best friends are a year older than me. I'm still 16 while they're 17. But who am I kidding, I'm sure all of us are waiting 'til we're 18, which isn't much longer until Miles will experience our desires. I'm starting to read again, which is something I've been wanting to do but never got around to it. Currently, I'm reading Dear John, which I started today and am taking a break from right now. I like collecting things that interests me and so I've decided, I'm going to start a book collection. I feel like I need to clean out my room and closet of clutter and re-organize. My room has been a mess because I haven't gotten to cleaning it from the excuse of homework. Ive been having more homework than usual.

To tell you the truth, Ive been pretty bummed at how distant Ive been from Charis & Miles. Although I may see them at least 5 times a week, Id rather have quality over quantity. Twin called me the other day and to be honest Ive missed seeing her number pop out on my caller ID. She is my OG of phone talks. I had the urge to call her last night and I felt that reconnection with her that I absolutely adored. I miss her and Im hoping and will be trying to restore how we used to be. <3

Im excited for this upcoming week. Va va voom, busy weekend + Feb. break! Finally time for cleaning ;D

How Can Hot Chocolate be Frozen?

Frozen Hot Chocolate was a 10!

Pluto sandwiches at Santana Row for dinner. Eating under the starts and the winter night was breathtaking.


Another weekend conquered without staying home<3

No Reheat.

A successful day at choir. MJM doing responsorial. May I say, I am actually confident on the way we sound because the song suits our voices! Last week was a FAIL for me, my voice & that song wasnt crackin! This time we sounded GReat. GreatMall & family hangout at Camilles house. Usual "neice & auntie" hangout. Filled with only the best moods and abundant laughing. I attempted to reheat the handwarmer that Ronan gave me, but then he told me it cant be reheated. Fail, but at least it used up my time :D

"Romper Season"

Spring please come by faster. I miss you. I miss the sunshine, the shorts & rompers without the tights and legging layers.

Winter is so not my season.

An Old Feeling

is revealing itself once again to mark a smile on my face.

My week consisted of:
-Usual Monday
-Nerveracking Tuesday
-Busy Wednesday
-Usual Thursday
-Staring Friday
-& Laughing Saturday.
What will Sunday be?


After choir practice, we were waiting for Jaize to get picked up on/in Julia's car.

This week escalated into a closer relationship between us, it's been great to actually know you than just to see you.

Bottom of my List.

That face hasnt been on Blogspot in a looonggg time. I constantly tell myself I'll start posting blogs more often, but that hasnt been happening. Once again, Ill try & hope not to see a fail. Let's hope for at least 3 posts a week shall we?